This really should be printed in "
keyhole success,"
on the other side of the house, but, that blog is
getting used and abused on other subjects-
SO, you've come to the right place, and you
came here because you saw that subject and
thought about the relationships that you have
and the keys that might make them better.
Because almost instantly people can tell when
they have the right key in a relationship, yet
very often, they're headed toward the wrong
door- and we know what happens when that
happens - isn't an open door!
Right KEY - Wrong Door.
Won't work will it- the door won't open. So
no matter what KEY you bring to the moment,
the door will remained closed. Some people
believe if they just know enough, do enough,
share enough, care enough, be enough, that
somehow magically, the other person is going
to return that to them? Problem is, that in
all of those, the KEY they have is fine, but
the door is wrong. Stick with us, as we will
soon get to...the right door.
RIGHT Key - Wrong Door.
Some people are convinced, also, that they
are right. They have the right key, it should
work, they why of it not working, isn't on
them. Ever know someone like this? My
wife of 35 years tells me how during our
early relationship years I'd blame everyone
around me, and take almost no
responsibility
for my own mistakes. Believing my idea,
my concept, my time, my money, my being
there, my being, to be RIGHT- there was no
room for - being responsible about being
wrong. No matter how she tried to help me
get it together, my belief that my key was
RIGHT- overwhelmed my ability to see the
truth, and, the door remained closed.
Right Key - WRONG Door
Some folks will try anything- including poison!
While your laughing a bit about someone being
stupid enough to ingest poison into their
body, "what do they have a death wish?"
Remember that we live in a culture where
Botox is used regularly- and that we live in
a world where people consume
pufferfish,
so poisonous that if it is not cooked exactly
right, you will eat your death! Wrong door-
the key is right, your sense of being about
the right way of doing things in the way that
you get along (relationship) is right- you are
being responsible- but you have the WRONG
door- you are wasting your time- and the
odd thing is, most of the time in relationships
you know this almost instinctively - you can
sense it- yet; some folks will continue to try
and make a relationship (door) right when
in fact it will never be anything but wrong!
Right Key - Wrong DOOR
Here we have the ultimate folly, somewhere
that you shouldn't be, yet you are. The way
that a persons mind works is often one of,
if not, they, deepest and greatest mysteries.
Once some years back a lady came to me who
was being beaten by her husband. She said
that she couldn't leave him because she loved
him. She also felt like sometimes it was her
fault that the fights started and then turned
violent. You may know someone who is
caught in this hell, if you do, please have
them phone me- they shouldn't be there.
When someone crosses the line of violence,
and then has the nerve to suggest that
somehow you were a cooperative person
in the problem- they've become so out of
focus on life, that they need professional
help, assistance, and - away from you. The
wrong door can be tragic- in the extreme we
end up, way too many times, hearing about
such on the evening news as a crime. The
real problem here, however, is the door-
the package, the appeal- it's there, and it's
crazy to deny it- being tempted to try this
or that, is one thing, becoming entrenched
in a situation that is not worth your life, is
quite another.
SO we come to the answer- what is the
answer- and we have to say, it's not an easy
one. That shocks many people when as a
counselor you suggest to them that it is going
to take work, constant effort, and a real and
total commitment to the healing that they seek,
that if they have the right key, great, but if they
don't, they're going to have to find it, aren't they?
If they have the right door, great, but if they
don't, that key they have won't work anywhere
else, will it? So the choice is a simple one,
it is to commit to being in the place where what
you have is the right key, and where you are
going is the right door...and next time...we'll go
there...because that's really where the fun is.
